And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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