If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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