fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
