I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
