How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
