I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
