I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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