Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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