What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
