He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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