i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
