Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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