hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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