i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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