If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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