What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
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She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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