You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
