His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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