PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize