is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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