I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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