Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink