I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.