Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian. http://tfl.nu/ky2c
  Replies (51) Good night (3736) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese. http://tfl.nu/0pie
  Replies (13) Good night (4227) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can. http://tfl.nu/zubg
  Replies (26) Good night (1322) Bad night (4107)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off. http://tfl.nu/qpy6
  Replies (38) Good night (648) Bad night (4387)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand http://tfl.nu/1wqs
  Replies (11) Good night (4038) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  come over i need a lifeguard for my shower

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): come over i need a lifeguard for my shower http://tfl.nu/1qns
  Replies (29) Good night (9889) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of http://tfl.nu/1krw
  Replies (10) Good night (3707) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Champagne is a vitamin, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Champagne is a vitamin, right? http://tfl.nu/gkox
  Replies (4) Good night (2381) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well. (1-520): Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand. http://tfl.nu/cdsz
  Replies (1) Good night (2119) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar. http://tfl.nu/9erd
  Replies (4) Good night (2141) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  that bad?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die. (773): that bad? (847): u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a. http://tfl.nu/aht0
  Replies (3) Good night (2883) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house. http://tfl.nu/bt1m
  Replies (16) Good night (1631) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."

  (347): View more from New York

  What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND." (347): What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls. http://tfl.nu/5x5n
  Replies (4) Good night (1054) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down. http://tfl.nu/5dy9
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (151)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work. http://tfl.nu/zevl
  Replies (2) Good night (94) Bad night (44)

Randomize