Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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