No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
