Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
