I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
