Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
