he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
