So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
