i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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