my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This beer is not sobering me up at all
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
why is half of my head shaved?
So. Much. Porn.
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