Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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