We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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