best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Boobs are out for the taking
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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