i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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