You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize