I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize