I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
