and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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