thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
