You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
