Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
