I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
