you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
