That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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