i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
