By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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