Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
