R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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