VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
