We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
