I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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