Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
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So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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