apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
you never un-have a 4some
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
