then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
