I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
