My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize