we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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