Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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