is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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