i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
