I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
