Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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