He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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