Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
